"I wanted to get back in touch with you because you liked me so much and said such nice things about me." (Oh goody! You mean I get to praise you some more??)
"Even my f***buddy was nicer to my Dad than my [live-in] girlfriend. She was just my f***buddy, but she was trying to impress me." (stunned silence)
"One of the things I really dislike about you is how hard you are on yourself." (Goshdarn it!! I need to STOP being so HARD on myself!!!)
"You wanna go in the bathroom and make out?" (um, no... thank you.)
"I'd love for you to come with me to this concert series... until I can find some hot chick to start going with me." (Ah. I think I actually have a conflict.)
...and these are just from the past 5 days. and there are more.
I know I do it, too. I know I say things that hurt when I don't mean them to, and sometimes when I do. I know I make bad jokes. But the above statements are all from guys who are supposed to be friends or who are "interested" in me. I don't know why I attract people like this, but the convent is looking better every day, ya'll.
There's this book by David Foster Wallace (may he rest in peace) called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. I started to read it a few months ago and stopped because I thought it was too cynical. I am, however, starting to think I could write the sequel.
Just thought I'd share. Sorry if this is a not-so-great post.